Are You Up For A Challenge? Try It, I Dare You!

Give your spouse, in person, one positive statement per day. It can be physical, a character trait, or a spiritual quality. (David Clarke) http://ow.ly/djQh1  -FamilyLife Weekend to Remember

 

The Privilege of Loving Your Wife

A husband's privileged role is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Eph. 5:25)

Do you consider loving your wife a privilege?  Is loving your wife more of a burden or obligation?  As husbands, are we loving our wives unconditionally with the love and devotion that Christ demonstrated for us?  Are we loving our wives in such a way that we are giving up on them or for them?  What will it take for you to love your wife like Christ loves you?

Do You Truly Understand Your Spouse?

What do you think it means for a man to "live with your wife in an understanding way?" (I Peter 3:7) http://ow.ly/dk9rh -FamilyLife Art of Marriage

 

What Does Your Mate NEED From You?

Love one another, even as I have loved you. (John 13:34) Pray that God will always keep you sensitive to the exact expressions of love your mate needs from you at any individual moment. -Dennis Rainey

 

What Positive Qualities Do You Contribute to Your Marriage?

Pray that God will help you see and appreciate your spouse's positive qualities. Think about them. Dwell on them. Thank God for them. http://ow.ly/dk65b -FamilyLife

 

The link above will take you to the FamilyLife store.  There you will find a book by Dr. David Clarke, entitled Kiss Me Like You Mean It,  featured.  You will also find a brief description of the contents of the book, as well as information about its author.

 

 

CAUTION: Marriage Under Construction

No matter where you are now, your marriage can be fixed. With God's help and hard work. The first step is to create some positive flow in your relationship. (David Clarke)http://ow.ly/djM5F -FamilyLife

 

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.  I am sorry to burst your bubble if you thought otherwise.  Regardless of where you are at in your marriage, how good or bad it might be, it can "easily" be repaired or remodled.  As long as you "hire" the right contractor, the work will go quick and smoothly.  Who is your "builder of choice"?  If you allow God to mend what has been damaged or broken, you will experience full and complete restoration.

 

Hebrews 3:3-5

 ³ Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. ⁴ For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. ⁵ “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house,” bearing witness to what would be spoken by God in the future.

 

I Want To Know that Your My Hero

Research has shown that wives wished their husbands knew was that: he is her hero! Men, how does that make you feel? http://ow.ly/d9hui  -FamilyLife

 

Does this research reflect that truth in your marriage?

 

The Title to this post sounds like some of the words from a once, and maybe still, popular Bette Midler/Celine Dion song.  Can anyone name that tune? :)

 

The link above will bring you to a book available at the FamilyLife store.  This book, written by Shaunti and Jeff Feldman is entitled For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women.  Scroll to the bottom of the page for a description of the book and information about the authors.

 

Filling in the Blank

Fill in the blank: the one thing (according to research) that wives wished their husbands knew was: ________________(Answer later!)  -FamilyLife

 

Husbands, how would you complete the preceding statement?  Compare your answer with your wife's.  Are they the same?  What do you need to do, as a couple, so that your "blanks" are filled with the same thing?

 

Art of Marriage Online Edition Available

Anger undealt with kills relationships and marriages. (Bryan Loritts) For conflict to be resolved, both spouses must be committed to oneness. Do you agree? http://ow.ly/d9ZP8 -FamilyLife Weekend to Remember

 

Select the link above to see a product description and pricing information for The Art of Marriage online edition available through from FamilyLife store.

Shop FamilyLife - The Art of Marriage® Online Edition – Beta

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The Art of Marriage® Online Edition – Beta

Marriage Advice

What is the best piece of marriage of advice you ever received? -FamilyLife Art of Marriage


Some of the best marriage advice I ever received was from a great-uncle of mine.  He said whenever you are having a conversation with your wife that requires a yes answer, reply by saying "yes dear."   Please feel free to post the best marriage advice that you received. 

Date Night Idea

Here is an idea to get you started with celebrating National Romance Month.  Date night idea: Re-create the day of your proposal as closely as you can, and re-live it, moment-by-moment. Celebrate it all. -FamilyLife Art of Marriage 

 

What are some other original ideas?

 

National Romance Month

Did you know that August is National Romance Month? How will you celebrate this important holiday?

-FamilyLife Art of Marriage

Now that this month-long holiday is just about over, what are you going to do to celebrate?  Are you going to end the holiday like a lion or a lamb? 

When Was Your Last Date Night?

What is the most fun date night you've ever had with your spouse? What made it so special and fun? -FamilyLife Art of Marriage

The sad truth of the matter for me is that "date nights" are few and far between.  Having a two and three year old at home, my wife and I rarely go out with just the two of us.  If we do it is to a church or other social event where there are many other couples also present. 

How important is it for you and your spouse to make time just for eachother without anything or anyone else present?  I am interested in your thoughts on the first two post questions as well as the one in the previous question.  Feel free to post your comments below.  We will do a drawing, of all the fun date night responses, on August 31 for a "date night" prize. By posting your comments, you may also give others an idea/ideas that they may not have thought of before. 

The Needs of Your Spouse

Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. (Romans 15:2) Ask God to make you sensitive to your mate’s needs and to show you opportunities to fulfill them. -Dennis Rainey

Romans 15:1-4   We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. ² Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. ³ For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” ⁴ For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

How Is Your Brain Designed?

Women have a relational strength of loving, nurturing, caring and empathy at our core. Our brains have a structure and hormone mix that are even designed specifically for it! Men can do it and learn it well. But their brains are not specifically designed to be naturally great at it. (Shaunti Feldhahn) http://ow.ly/d1hot -FamilyLife

 

By selecting the link above, you will be sent to the FamilyLife online store.  Scroll to the bottom of the page to read the product description for the FamilyLife resource The Life Ready Woman.

There is also a "product description" on the page.  This would be an excellent book for a women's small group study.

 

Another One Of The Devil's Tools

"The devil's strategy for our times is to trivialize human existence and to isolate us from one another while creating the delusion that the reasons are time pressure, work demands, or economic anxieties." (Dr. Philip Zombardo) How can we fight back? -FamilyLife Art of Marriage

Tools the Devil's uses to Prevent Godly Marriage- Part 2

If you take your emotional and sexual energy and spend it on someone else, there will be nothing left for your spouse. Those who continually view pornography or engage in sexual fantasies are isolating themselves. The better way, of course, is to give your time and energy to your spouse.http://ow.ly/cSQSl 

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FamilyLife Weekend to Remember

As with the previous post, the link above will send you to an article, on the FamilyLife website, written by Bill Elliff.  The title of the article is 8 Lies That Destroy Marraige (Every wrong behavior begins with believing a lie).

 

Tools the Devil's uses to Prevent Godly Marriage- Part 1

A lot of people think, I can view pornography in the privacy of my home. It’s just me and my magazine, or computer … it doesn’t affect my marriage. Oneness in marriage is hijacked by sexual immorality. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:15, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?” Do you agree?
http://ow.ly/cSQ8b -FamilyLife Weekend to Remember

 

The link above will send you to an article, on the FamilyLife website, written by Bill Elliff.  The title of the article is 8 Lies That Destroy Marraige (Every wrong behavior begins with believing a lie). 

Keeping Your Way Pure

How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. (Ps 119:9) Pray that God would cement your own beliefs more clearly in your mind and show you how to communicate them ways to your family and others.- Dennis Rainey

Consider the words of Philipians 4:8-9 as they help to further explain what the Psalmist is saying: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

How do others know what you believe? Do you express your beliefs to them in words?  Do they see it in the way you live? More importantly, do others witness you living what you believe? In other words, do your actions mirror your beliefs?

Is Passion Present in Your Marriage?

Marriage is nothing without passion. Loss of passion is boring, draining, destructive, a terrible example for your kids, and not glorifying to God. God does not want you to live together without passion. (David Clarke, "Kiss Me Like You Mean it")- FamilyLife Art of Marriage

 

Remarried?

Are you remarried? Great! But, realize that a parent's relationship with his or her children will be an intimacy barrier to the new marriage. A stepmother came to see me hoping I could help diminish the jealousy she feels toward her stepson. http://ow.ly/cPNka- FamilyLife Weekend to Remember

Go to the link above to read an article published by editor Ron R. Deal that was originally published by Single Parent Family magazine (published by Focus on the Family) in December, 2000.

Through "Thick and Thin"

Loving your spouse means being there for them and standing with him regardless the circumstances. Song 8:6- Dennis Rainey

 

Song of Solomon 8:6 says:

Place me like a seal over your heart,
    like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
    its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
    like a mighty flame.

 

Or put in another familiar way: "I, (husband name), take you (wife name), to be my (wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

If you are an old-style country music fan, the following lyrics may come to mind:

 

"Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man"- Tammy Wynette

The Beauty of a Wife

Husband, your job is to make your wife understand that to you, she is beautiful. The point here, for you, is: tell your wife often she is physically beautiful." ~ Dr. David Clarke http://ow.ly/cNWpa

Check out the above link.  At the bottom of the page you will find a brief biography about Dr. Clarke. His book entitled "Kiss Me Like You Mean It" can be purchased from the FamilyLife Store.

Creating a More Manageable Life

There is a proper time and procedure for every delight. (Ecclesiastes 8:6) What cutbacks could you impose on yourselves that would make your lives more manageable three to six months from now? Start by finding one thing you’ll say no to. Ask God to give you the wisdom to build some margin into your lives.- Dennis Rainey

What Would Your Children Say?

How would your children describe the model you are setting in your home of your vocabulary and how you speak to one another? Pray that the meditation of your heart and the words of your mouth will be acceptable in the sight of God.- Dennis Rainey

We had a sermon yesterday morning that called us, or reminded us, to be more child-like.   We were reminded that being child-like does not mean being childish.  Children can be extremely honest when they are asked questions.  They have been known to volunteer information at will. Without prompting, they provide others with information that will make any parent blush and want to hide.

One area where we could especially learn from our children is in the area of faith/trust.  It was said, in the sermon, that studies have shown that children do not lose faith/trust until the fourth repetition of an activity.  For example, a child will jump off the edge of a counter, or swimming pool, into their parents' arms.  It would not be until the fourth time of not being caught that the child would stop jumping (lose their faith/trust). 

If you had to be honest, and you should, what do you think that your children would say about the words that you use and the way you communnicate with your spouse?  Are they words that build your spouse up or tear them down.  Do you speak to them as a "help mate/team mate" or do you address them as if they were a servant or slave?  Do you share equally in your relationship, or do you consider your spouse to be inferior?

"Spouse Speak"

The way you speak to your spouse is the best model to help your kids learn the pleasing use of the tongue. Prov. 10:11- Dennis Rainey

 

¹¹ The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,     but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

 

Juneau, Alaska AOM Event taking place Friday, Aug. 31 and Saturday, Sept. 1

From FamilyLife Art Of Marriage- Please pray for this upcoming Art of Marriage Event:
Fri Aug 31 2012 - Sat Sep 01 2012

Juneau church of the Nazarene
PO Box 32360
Juneau, AK 99803

 

If you live in the Juneau area, please consider taking advantage of this opportunity to strengthen your marriage.  If you are already signed up to attend, it is our prayer that you are blessed by this event.  After attending, if you would be willing to comment on how you were blessed by this experience, we would like to hear from you.  Word of mouth is a great way to encourage others to host, or attend, events in their area.  If you are in the NW Iowa region, we are willing to travel outside our area, and would like to hear more about the possibility of hosting an event, please leave a comment here on the blog and we will be in contact with you soon.  Have a blessed Lord's Day tomorrow.